A Lions roar...

Two dead in a weeks time. Two Gold Star kids, Alex Calahan age 13 and Destiny Stafford age 15, that I've shared part of this journey with have had their lives ended. I've struggled for the words to write on this page and I've struggled for the words to say to each of the families. What do we say to someone who's lost so much. You see, these families are not new to grief nor is this the first time they've seen death. Both families have had a father/husband die in service to our country. So what can I say to them now? How can the grief that is now their's be eased by my words?  

I could write something beautiful about each of their lives.  The kindness that I saw from a boy in Texas and the smiles and beauty I saw in a girl in North Carolina.  I could write about what their fathers did and how they died.  Yet I want to write about the next chapter.  I want to write about what comes next in the lives of these two young people and in our lives.

This very moment we have great power, some of us know it's there, yet we fear using it.  We have the power to change lives.  We can choose to heal wounds, help someone in some way, build someone and touch a life.  We can also choose to cause harm, sharpened spears aimed at the heart of another, to destroy and to kill.  We have this power you see, each of us have this power inside of us.  

Most of us choose to sit on the sidelines of the world around us.  Doing the basics needed to survive and make it through another day.  We close our eyes to the war raging around us and simply take care of our own.  Yet regardless of where we were yesterday or the sins of complacency that we committed in our lives we have this day to make a difference and change our direction.

You see, we are Lions!  We are powerful beyond belief and we can change the world!  The moments don't come often for most of us and most of the time we have to seek them out.  The moments we have to touch someone's life and make a difference in the world around us.  A moment to roar like lions...

We will be afraid, we will face those who want to stop us or change us into bitter hoards of self-seeking humans.  Yet if we can look deep into our hearts, summon the courage that is there and with the loudest of voices roar!      

These two young people touched lives while they were with us, yet even after death they are touching lives.  Alex is now a battle flag unfurled in a great war for the hearts of thousands.  His life and death is now being used to save lives in our battle against suicide.  Destiny's body was given to six other families that now have hope for life.  She will go on and change the world through new families.  Her heart still beats strong and her courage lives still.

It is our turn.  Our turn to take advantage of this moment.  Let us use these two amazing people as an inspiration and guide to reach out to the world around us, to touch a single life, and in doing so change the world forever.  Reach out in love, practice compassion, be courageous in our pursuits and be kind to the souls around us.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?”  Marianne Williamson

"Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
Howard Thurman

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth." Mark Twain

Five Years...

It’s been five years today since Kim Hunter ended her life. It doesn’t seem possible for that much time to pass without hearing about her new success or her crazy adventures. I can remember each anniversary and there isn’t a day that passes that I don’t remember something about my sister.

I wish you could share in my shock over some of the crazy stuff that girl did as a teen. Even thou our mom would disagree, she was a total nightmare! As the years passed, she found her niche and her place in the world or at least from what everyone could tell. It was a combination of things that filled her life with passion and purpose. She loved getting outside and doing things. Which was anything from running, kayaking, the dreaded triathlons and over course making a difference in the lives of others.

 She’s missed by many and her personal impact is still seen in lives around us. Yet in all the wonderful things she did during her life, it was her death that had the greatest impact. I believe her story of life, of death and the struggles of those who loved her have touched many lives outside of their own, which in my view is simply beautiful. To not only inspire and touch others, but to do so in a way that will carry forward to even more people.

 We will all face grief and death. We will all face tragedies that will rock the foundations of our lives. It will be up to each of us to decide what to do with what has happened. We have a story to share, scars to show and lives to touch. We have an opportunity each day to change the world and we can do so one heart at a time.

 Semper Fi Chief Hunter

 Love, kindness and compassion

Darcie......

Arriving at my first regional event for TAPS as an employee I was asked if I would pick up Darcie Sims from the airport later that night.  I knew from past experiences with Darcie that it would be well worth losing sleep to pick her up, after all, who wouldn’t want an hour of free therapy from one of the top psychologists in the country!  So that’s where my journey really started with her and what a journey it would be for this simple man. 

We all have stories that can be shared about Darcie and the impact she had on our lives.  Over the past week I’ve seen hundreds of pictures and read a multitude of words from people who have been touched in someway by this remarkable woman.  We learned that it’s ok grieve in what ever way we felt we should.  She taught us that we only have a short time to appreciate this journey of life before it’s over.  There are so many things that can be written and so many lessons that have been learned from her teachings.  I’ve been reflecting on her most important lesson to me and maybe to the world as a whole. 

I don’t think Darcie started out her journey in working in grief with the idea that she would change the world, nor do I think she believed her way was the only way.  As most can testify, she had the ability to bring things down to earth and make each person believe that they were the only one in the room.  I think that’s where her most important lesson lies, in that one person in the room, that single heart and in that single moment in time, the present with a single life in pain.  Her greatest lesson in my eyes was simple words to you and I, they are words we hear from our mom and at church, but they become much more once we apply those words to our lives and start living them.  Those words; Love, kindness and compassion.

Darcie showed that one person can make a massive difference in the world.  She showed that we can reach out and change things for the better by simply looking to a single person and a single heart.  She showed us the importance of Love and offered ways to help make love the “journey” and not just words that are reserved for those we find easy to be around or have something to offer, but for the world as a whole.  Love seems to be the theme of all she did and in my eyes will certainly be her legacy.  She has touched so many lives, God has truly worked through this woman.  This lesson of love will echo through generations, touching many lives to come.  What an amazing story, what an amazing legacy to have.

What’s also powerful is to see that she was only human, only a simple woman no different than anyone else.  She had fears, she hurt others, faced challenges and failed no different than anyone else in the world.  What really stood out was her willingness to reach out to others and try, to struggle toward something outside herself.  To be used by God to help change a single heart.  She had the courage and desire to simply love.

Do we have the same courage?  Can we continue Darcie’s legacy by showing love, by reaching out and by touching a single heart?  You see, this isn’t simply about us, it’s not about Darcie, it’s about something much greater.  We have the power to change the world, yes, as grand and big as it is, we have that power today.  We can make a difference, simply one heart at a time. 

 

My words fall short of what should be written about Darcie Sims and they certainly fall short of glorify our Maker.  These are simple words from a simple man, but it is truly my hope that we do struggle to make a difference.  That we wake tomorrow with a desire to help a single heart, a single person, to show love and to see the beauty in the world around us.  Love, kindness and compassion. 

Semper Fi Darcie Sims, We love you.

Birthday Love....

Four years ago today you woke to face the world, to battle all those same obstacles we all face and to make sense of life.  Four years ago today our mom called you to wish you a happy birthday and to tell you that she loves you.  Four years ago today you had friends that called you, texted you, emailed you to celebrate such an amazing woman.  Four years ago today would be the last two weeks of your life.

I didn’t call you this day four years ago, I didn’t write, I didn’t send a card, nor did I even remember that it was your birthday.  Had I’d known that you would not have another, I would have driven to where you were and with so many others, given you the best birthday ever!!  I would have showered you with love and affection that you deserved and made sure that you knew in every part of your being that you were loved by me.  I would have asked for forgiveness for the words and my actions that offended you, for being a pain in the butt brother, for being selfish and most of all for being prideful.  If I had only known...

Today I write to you, I’ll bake a cake and place a candle on it.  I’ll toast you and spend time with friends who will do the same.  Today I’ll think of the ways that you touched me, changed me and affected my path in this life.  Today I’ll tell someone about you and how you touched so many lives both in the Navy, at church and as a volunteer.  Today I will remember the fun times we shared, the sad times when we cried, the crazy times that don’t need to be mentioned….  

 Today I will tell others “I Love You” as often as possible and take every opportunity to hug someone.  Today I see how important life is, how short it is and how valuable each person is in our life.  Today my heart is open to others, to being hurt and to being loved.  Today, I will share your story with someone else as I continue to add value to your life and death.  Today I see that had I just shared with you my own struggles, you may not have died.  Today I will try and live this day and every day as if it were my most important day, to hold close those I love, to share with others, to try and make a difference in a single life, because….one of these days it will be MY last day and my last birthday.

February 23^rd is your birthday, like so many people I know who have had a loved one die, it is an important date in my life now.  Before your death it wasn’t, but it will forever be so now.  I wish I could fill you in on all the beauty I’ve seen in the past several months of my life, all the amazing things that I’ve experienced and all the wonderful people I have in my life.  Since your death my life has changed so much and I’ve come to spend my life in a way that helps others and in service to God.  I wish I could share with you these beautiful things I see all around me. 

Your life and your death have touched so many lives Kim.  There have been families mended, lives saved and value added to so many.  Not only do I morn your death today, but also celebrate your life.  I want others to see that there is beauty in not only your life, but also your death and I think many do.  So Kim, today I will live… Today I will give… Today I will sing… Today I will embrace life…  Today I will Love…

Happy Birthday Sister….     

My birthday song to you...

 http://youtu.be/tR-qQcNT_fY