Saturday, February 22, 2014

Birthday Love....



Four years ago today you woke to face the world, to battle all those same obstacles we all face and to make sense of life.  Four years ago today our mom called you to wish you a happy birthday and to tell you that she loves you.  Four years ago today you had friends that called you, texted you, emailed you to celebrate such an amazing woman.  Four years ago today would be the last two weeks of your life.

I didn’t call you this day four years ago, I didn’t write, I didn’t send a card, nor did I even remember that it was your birthday.  Had I’d known that you would not have another, I would have driven to where you were and with so many others, given you the best birthday ever!!  I would have showered you with love and affection that you deserved and made sure that you knew in every part of your being that you were loved by me.  I would have asked for forgiveness for the words and my actions that offended you, for being a pain in the butt brother, for being selfish and most of all for being prideful.  If I had only known...

Today I write to you, I’ll bake a cake and place a candle on it.  I’ll toast you and spend time with friends who will do the same.  Today I’ll think of the ways that you touched me, changed me and affected my path in this life.  Today I’ll tell someone about you and how you touched so many lives both in the Navy, at church and as a volunteer.  Today I will remember the fun times we shared, the sad times when we cried, the crazy times that don’t need to be mentioned….  

 Today I will tell others “I Love You” as often as possible and take every opportunity to hug someone.  Today I see how important life is, how short it is and how valuable each person is in our life.  Today my heart is open to others, to being hurt and to being loved.  Today, I will share your story with someone else as I continue to add value to your life and death.  Today I see that had I just shared with you my own struggles, you may not have died.  Today I will try and live this day and every day as if it were my most important day, to hold close those I love, to share with others, to try and make a difference in a single life, because….one of these days it will be MY last day and my last birthday.

February 23rd is your birthday, like so many people I know who have had a loved one die, it is an important date in my life now.  Before your death it wasn’t, but it will forever be so now.  I wish I could fill you in on all the beauty I’ve seen in the past several months of my life, all the amazing things that I’ve experienced and all the wonderful people I have in my life.  Since your death my life has changed so much and I’ve come to spend my life in a way that helps others and in service to God.  I wish I could share with you these beautiful things I see all around me. 

Your life and your death have touched so many lives Kim.  There have been families mended, lives saved and value added to so many.  Not only do I morn your death today, but also celebrate your life.  I want others to see that there is beauty in not only your life, but also your death and I think many do.  So Kim, today I will live… Today I will give… Today I will sing… Today I will embrace life…  Today I will Love…



Happy Birthday Sister….     

My birthday song to you...