I want to be a better man with each step I take in this life. Of course, I'm often times distracted by different things and people. But by far my biggest distraction are my own desires. I really want to know and learn about an open heart and the role that our hearts play in our lives. I truly want to grasp what it means to be open, authentic and vulnerable. The one thing that has remained constant in my search is that it always changes. My perspective on the topics change and once again I'm faced with reexamining portions of my discoveries. Here's a few things that I see today.
The Good...
I have found that if I live an authentic and vulnerable life I will have more joy and happiness. I have come into a place that being open hearted has allowed such beauty into my life. Frankly, there are times that I can't even understand or process some of the joy and beauty that I see. I see it in others as well. Those few who live a life open and loving toward others and themselves. I sincerely believe that living a life that reflects our hearts, being authentic and vulnerable, brings the greatest level of joy and happiness that we can have in our short lives.
The Bad...
As I live a life that reflects my heart I allow the beauty in me to flow out to others. There's also the not so beautiful parts of me that flows out. The ugly damaged parts of my life, my fear, my doubt and my selfishness also flows. I don't think I can control the bad without affecting the good. If I try and filter what flows from me than I end up filtering the good with the bad. I don't think we can have an honest life if we're always trying to control what flows from our heart. What you see is what you get. With my good, there's also my bad. I'm afraid sometimes, I want control sometimes, I doubt sometimes. There are things that lie in the depths of my heart that aren't beautiful and those who know my heart see those imperfections. My flaws, and yours, are part of who we are and having the courage to allow the world around us to see all of us is in my eyes profoundly beautiful.
The Ugly...
The ugly truth is, the more we allow others to see our true selves the more they will reject, criticize and judge us for our flaws and failures. That's just the way it is and there's no getting around it. We may be praised one minute and condemned the next. Frankly, I've struggled with this ugly truth. I think most of us seek guarantees and assurances in life, especially in relationships. When we see the beauty in another, we can't imagine that there's also darkness. But there is and it's in us all.
In my mind, I sometimes see a world where we look at others and have compassion for those people who are flawed, yes, that's everyone. We see the beauty in everyone around us and not only accept their imperfections, but embrace them.
The Beautiful...
We may know this; God see's all of us. All of our hearts, every single beautiful and dark place in us. Nothing remains hidden. We may know this, but we don't believe it. Not really. If we did truly believe this we would all follow a different path and see the world in a new light. In spite of my heart there's a place in the heart of God that only I can fill. His love for me isn't based on His emotions or my politically correct actions or words, but instead simply on who I am. His love for you is the same.
I think God wants us to live a life that is authentic and open. I think He wants us to live a life that reflects our hearts and I think above all else He wants us to be free. I feel that freedom more and more in my life, yet I struggle for the words to capture it.
Love, Courage, Kindness and Compassion
"Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness..." Galatians 5:16
"As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart." Proverbs 27:19
I’m one of the foolish ones that must trip over many stones in my journey of life to learn a lesson. It would be much easier for me to simply read a book or follow the advice of others, yet I’m too stubborn to do so. So, here are my stumbling stones and the lessons learned. My struggles and my imperfect self in an honest and flawed way. May this help others see that it’s ok to be different and may it bring glory to God.
